Boundaries are needed tools that help you interact with the people who come and stay in your life. Society has created a place where having boundaries is a bad thing. In actuality boundaries help you connect with God and yourself. When we create boundaries we are protecting ourselves as well as our loved ones.
Think about a zoo.
This zoo has boundaries that let you know what enclosure is what and where each entrance is and how to safely enter that enclosure. The public is not allowed to just go into these enclosures, although sometimes we hear about people climbing over the boundaries and getting hurt. Of course free will does allow for this. But oftentimes the person who crossed the boundary is to blame.
We even set boundaries on hot cups.
Boundaries are there because they inform the other person of how something is, which puts the responsibility with the other person. Imagine the zoo again. There are boundaries that tell us where to walk and where to see the animals at the best, safest distance. Now imagine if there were no boundaries at the zoo. Imagine if people were able to just walk right into the lion’s den or stroll right up to the alligators. Would that be chaotic or what? In the instance where we have a boundaryless zoo we would have people being eaten alive and ripped apart.
How long would that zoo stay open?
When we give boundaries we are effectively telling the people in our life where our wild animals live. Then when someone wants to cross that boundary and crawl into the lion pit, it is their fault if they get eaten alive. We obviously don’t want that, but when we place boundaries we are doing the MOST we can do to keep everyone safe and happy. No one who wants to be, or should be in your life will want to make you upset. When we give boundaries we are letting people know how to avoid upsetting us. This makes the “walking on eggshells” effect, exist no more! When we share our boundaries we are able to keep needless arguments out of our relationship so that we can all exist with ease.
It is important to know your boundaries.
Boundaries can be fluid and change. You do not need to stick with the same boundaries all of the time. You can in fact change your boundaries within the span of a couple hours and even minutes. But you must learn what your boundaries are to begin with in order to set them. It is not anyone else’s responsibility or even in their capacity to set boundaries for you. Only YOU can know what your boundaries are. And only when YOU communicate your boundaries will anyone else know them. In this manner, if you love or value anyone or any relationship; you must do the inner work to learn about your likes and dislikes, your wants and needs.
If you need help exploring your boundaries my coaching packages may be right for you!